What I will do next year

I started this blog thinking I will write for posterity. My intentions were to keep a diary without having to keep one. However, I can see from my previous posts that I am shy. I somehow don't want to really show what is really going on. Next year, I want to change this. Although, at the same time I want to be careful to keep information that other people may not want to see their friends and relatives to see. This is going to be probably a little difficult but I think that I can manage. So, there. Next year I will write whatever abstraction I want to say without even making sense. And, I will include at least one post a week of what my life is really like. Maybe I will even post photos...who knows. I do however, want to begin to invite my friends to read and make comments if they want.
Right now the children are asleep. Sweet. I have this rare moment to write or read, or both. So far I have written. I also read some blogs and got inspired. Hence, all my renewed energy to communicate better. I hear noises from the bedroom....

Believing in a bening universe

It is the middle of the holidays, literally. But I am tired. Or, am I supposed to be tired? Confusion comes to me everyday. I want to believe my thoughts even though I already know they are not true. Not true at all. For instance, here I am only wanting to believe that all I am right now is tired when in reality we had wonderful days with Judy and her family. I almost got to forget that these were actually the holidays. Then, we arrived home last night and it sort of hit me again. I have got to go to sleep. No more thoughts. No more thoughts. Or, no more paying attention to thoughts. I can just see them pass by and notice....maybe.

Saturday

It is Saturday already. And the weekend before Thanksgiving. We are going to Montana and I am so excited about it. I wish we could move there. I wish we would move there.
Today the children almost staggered their naps but they didn't The staggering lasted about 40 minutes. M. and Big H. went to sleep. Little H. and I tried to convinced each other that we (me) wanted to sleep and at the same we (little H.) wanted to go downstairs to play with the train. It didn't work (nap for me) or the train playing (for little H.). Don't get me wrong we went downstairs we started playing then, little H. was showing signs of frutration, throwing things, and I held him and he fell asleep in my arms. Sweet. Really sweet.
Now I can write for a little while. Of course, I feel that I need to read and at the same time it is nice to write. Just to write.
It is not winter here this afternoon. It is sunny and actually kind of warm. Such is the life. In the morning chilly and sweaters (sometimes a windbreaker) and in the afternoon a short sleeve shirt.
Ok, I am convinced now I am going to read.....and make myself a cup of coffee.